I'm realizing more and more each day that life is never set in stone. Change is a constant. We aren't as stuck in a situation as it may sometimes seem. This is especially true when it come to one's job. I truly believe that we are here to do what makes us happy and it's never too late to do that. I had the pleasure of having a conversation with a beautiful woman named Toi, who recently quit her job and made a radical career shift. She shares some real insights that might help you realize that it’s NEVER TOO LATE!
How are you doing today? Can you please introduce yourself, your name, where you are from, etc?
I’m doing great! I'm visiting sunny CA enjoying an early fall day while it rains cats and dogs back home in NY lol. I'm Toi Carrion, recovering corporate lawyer turned Health and Life Coach. I grew up in Cambridge, MA, but have lived in Brooklyn, NY for more than half my life.
What inspired you to become a lawyer and what type of law did you practice, how long did you practice?
I was an investment funds lawyer for about 9 years both in a top law firm and at a top financial institution. Prior to that, I had several jobs, including being a paralegal at a large corporate law firm and I went to law school at NYU. I became a lawyer for a lot of reasons. I grew up in a lower-middle class household and there were definitely points looking back that I think we were living below the poverty line. I didn't know much about finances then, but I did watch TV and "knew" that lawyers were rich, so I wanted to be one. I also had a dad who envisioned career paths for each of his kids. He told me from a young age that I would be a lawyer and, for better or worse, I believed him! It also seemed like it was a clear career path, all laid out for me. School mostly came to me relatively easily and it felt like I just had to study hard and I could be a lawyer -- other paths to financial stability felt more opaque and risky.
What made you change career paths and what do you currently do? What made you choose this career specifically?
After almost 8 years working at the same law firm, I knew I wasn't happy and needed to make a change. I moved over to working "in-house" at a large asset manager. Unfortunately, that work environment was, in fact, worse; so much worse! I was stressed, anxious, and I started losing weight. I realized then that maybe it wasn't the place, but the work itself that was the common denominator in me being dissatisfied by my work and career. For years friends have been saying that I should be a life coach (one thing that always came naturally about lawyering was talking to people and offering guidance). I had set myself up for success by saving pretty well while I was working and paying off my debts, so I felt I was in a good position to take a chance. Coaching aligned with my spirit, who I wanted to be and how I want my life to look; so I figured that there was no downside to trying it out (I will always be a lawyer and can always go back to that later if coaching didn't work out).
What exactly is a life coach, and why do people need one?
I'm a health coach and a life coach and I think people need coaches because we all have so many goals, ideas, dreams of how we want to live and what we want to achieve. Whether it's losing 10 lbs or getting a promotion or building our financial nest egg, we have ideas about our deepest desires. But somehow we can't keep the weight off, or we stay in jobs without any hope of career progression, or we're living paycheck to paycheck. A coach helps us develop our goals by encouraging us to dream bigger, identify what having these things will do for us so that we are always inspired to keep going and supports us in achieving the body or life of our dreams. Coaches provide the system, motivation and accountability so that the life we want is ours.
What challenges do you currently face in your job?
In my work, I am the vision holder -- I take what my client has told me she wants for her future and keep it, almost as a sacred prophecy of what is to come for her life. I think the hardest part of my job is encouraging my clients to want this vision as badly for themselves as I want it for them. It's helping them to believe, to know, that with discipline and trust in the program and in themselves, what they want is already theirs. They're writing their own fate.
Are you happier? Do you feel that you made a good decision?
I'm really happy. I (currently) make less money, but I am so much happier and I know that will change [how much money I'm making]. I am walking very much in my purpose. I know it, my clients can sense it and my friends and my family have noticed as well. I'm in the best health of my adult life, I am in a far better head space, and I am so happy that my journey led me here.
What advice would you give to someone who is unhappy with their current career path?
Ooof - my advice is to first and foremost remember that you're not crazy, selfish or immature for feeling how you feel about your career. Next, I would say start to do some dream weaving about what your ideal life really looks like - what does career satisfaction look like for you? Create your plan for getting out of what you're doing now and into where you'd like to be. And all the while, start thinking about your current spending and savings and if you decided to quit your job TODAY what would you need to get through the next 3 months, 6 months, or year if you had no additional income. Finally, if you start with these steps and you're like this isn't working, GET HELP. There are career coaches that can help you plan all this out and get you on the path to your dream career as well. Aside from me, one of my favorites is Domonique Worship, @coach_domonique on Instagram.
What’s the best advice you have ever gotten in regards to achieving a true work/life balance and choosing a career that fits one’s purpose?
Hmm, I hope you don't mind, but I am going to answer a slightly different question. My daddy used to always tell me the story of Henry Ford. Ford opposed WWI and a newspaper published a variety of articles dubbing him an "ignorant pacifist". In response, Ford filed a libel suit against the paper. And when forced to testify, Ford was peppered with increasingly inane questions about war in general and general historical facts, presumably in an effort to paint him as ignorant. Finally, sick of these pointless questions, Ford stops the lawyer and says (I'm paraphrasing here), "I don't know the answer to all these questions. But at any moment I could pick up the phone and have someone find me the answer to the question. So why would I fill up my head with all this useless knowledge when I've got men around me who tell me anything I need to know?"
This is some of the best life advice I've ever received. And it's true of more than how to get work/life balance or choosing a career or making a change. You don't have to know everything. You don't have to know in this moment how you're going to get to where you want to be. ASK FOR HELP. Build your network. Develop relationships. Someone has answers that will get you closer to where you want to be.
Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?
Raising a family, coaching one on one and in groups, developing retreats, thinking about the next 5 years.
Where can people find you for more information on your services?
Please reach out to me via email at timetothrivewithtoi@gmail.com and follow me on instagram @timetothrive_365.
Toi is wearing the "Never Too Late" T-shirt available HERE.